As we meet more and more people at 'A Different Journey' events, who have lost a partner at a young age, we see so many different ways that people cope with grief. In this issue, we take a brief look at why there are so many different reactions and coping methods – and why each individual is unique.

You can read a story from Anne, who attended our weekend event in Cambridgeshire. Anne explains how she found friendship and support – and hope for the future in the midst of loneliness and despair.

We also take a look at how bereaved people can cope with evenings and nights – when they can sometimes feel especially alone.

Best wishes

Joy and Bob Jones, Care for the Family
www.careforthefamily.org.uk/adj

PS We hope to meet you at one of our events in 2009. You'll find some advance information in this newsletter.

It was the beginning of July 2007, and we were looking forward to our summer holiday. Benson, my husband, had recently been given the five-year 'all clear' after the removal of a malignant mole on his back.

On the Friday morning, he went to the doctor, thinking he had sprained his left hand, which had developed a weakness over the last few days. The doctor sent him straight to the hospital, and by the end of the day we were given the devastating news that the weakness was caused by secondary tumours in his brain, lung and liver. Radiotherapy and chemotherapy were available, but only in a palliative role.

When you are bereaved, you may ask yourself “How am I doing in coping with my grief?” Perhaps you’re concerned that you’re not handling it well. The truth is that your grief is unique to you. You’ll cope in different ways from others. However, there are some factors which may determine how we cope with the loss of our loved one...

• Have you had a previous major bereavement?

Death is hardly mentioned in our present day culture and we are frequently not prepared for it when it strikes. The first time we lose someone close to us can shatter our world...

When your partner dies it leaves you with all sorts of 'firsts' to get through – first birthday, first Christmas – and so the list goes on. But there is one thing that is perhaps even more difficult than those other 'firsts': spending your first night without your loved one.

During the day, there are jobs to do, work to go to, shopping, cleaning, possibly child care, and a hundred other things – but come the evening, when you’re on your own, the loneliness can be overwhelming...

We're just putting the finishing touches to our programme of events for 2009. We’re planning day events in:

• Devon
• South Wales
• The Portsmouth/Southampton area
• Northern Ireland

Next year's 'A Different Journey' weekend will be held near Stafford from 8-10 May.

We wanted to give you some advance notice – we’ll keep you informed, and let you know when you can book, in a future issue of this newsletter.